According to domestic abuse charity Refuge, 1 in 4 women in England and Wales will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime. Domestic abuse takes many forms and while the signs may be obvious to others looking in, they may not be to you. Every situation is different but there are common signs to look out for:
- They are physically abusive. This includes hitting, slapping, punching or any behaviour resulting in physical injury.
- They are sexually abusive. This could be in the form of pressurising you into engaging in sexual activities, forcing sexual interactions without your consent.
- They are verbally abusive. This includes shouting, verbally threatening, undermining you, swearing and using derogatory language.
- They are constantly pressuring you. This can involve a punishment (such as silent treatment, removing access to finances, withholding personal belongings, withdrawing all affection) for failing to do what the abuser wants. They may threaten self-harm if you do not do as they say.
- They eroding your self-confidence. This can be in the form of mocking you, disrespecting or undermining you in front of others and when you are alone, convincing you that you are worthless and that they act the way they do out of love for you. They will make you doubt your reality and deny any wrongdoing or blame you for their loss of control and actions.
- You feel isolated. This involves not giving you any privacy, monitoring your online activity, screening who you are able to communicate with and controlling your movement. They may not allow you to meet family or friends without them or not allow you to speak to them at all.
- They control you. This is a pattern of behaviour designed to intimidate and maintain control over another person.
These forms of abuse can be subtle to begin with and gradually escalate in severity. It is never acceptable to live in fear of abuse. If you know someone or you yourself are experiencing domestic abuse, here are some ways you can seek help and support:
- Call the Police. If you are in immediate danger or a crime has been committed, you must dial 999.
- Confide in friends and family. Your loved one can only help you if they know what is going on.
- Reach out to Domestic Abuse charities. There are many charities that offer discrete support to victims of abuse and will help you to plan a safe escape from your abusive environment.
- Apply to the Court for a Non-Molestation Order. This is an order from the Family Court to protect you (and your children) from being harmed or threatened by the abuser.
If you would like advice on any of the issues raised in this article, please contact Irrum Shah, Solicitor in our Family Law Department on 01295 204154, or by email at ishah@se-solicitors.co.uk