Relationship red flags: What can I do?

What are red flags to watch out for?

Domestic abuse is all about control, so ask yourself who’s making the decisions? Who’s setting the tone for the relationship? Who is in charge?

Physical assault is never okay, but just because there are no injuries to see it doesn’t mean that the behaviour is alright.

In a healthy relationship you are equal, you may not earn the same, you may not be built the same, but you are worth the same.

Are you in fear? You may not even understand why, but fear is your body telling you things are wrong.

Have you autonomy? Your body, your decision; no question.

Are you isolated? You should be able to decide when you see family, and who your friends are without being made to feel guilty. 

Is your relationship built on trust? You shouldn’t be tracked, checked up on constantly or threatened with “exposure” on social media, that’s coercion.

It is never okay to threaten to disclose private sexual images, that’s a betrayal (and a crime to act on that threat).

What can I do?

Accept you won’t change them. Don’t even try.

In an emergency, call the police.

Consult health professionals; your GP, health visitor can all help.

If you have time to plan, set up an escape fund.

Put valuables, including ID in a safe place.

Get a burner phone if you can do so safely.

Consult a solicitor for help ending a relationship, emergency orders and legal advice.

If you’re facing domestic abuse, you don’t have to deal with it alone. Speak to me, Deborah Davies, Director at SE-Solicitors in the family law team to protect your future with clarity and confidence.