Family Mediation Week 16-20 January 2023 – what happens at mediation?

January 19th 2023

Family mediation can be really helpful to assist couples who have separated resolving the issues arising from their separation.  These can sometimes be difficult conversations, even when a separation is amicable. With the assistance of a mediator who acts as a neutral third party, the couple can focus on moving away from the negative dynamics of their relationship and focus on a more positive future. 

My attached video explains the mediation process to give couples entering into mediation an idea of what to expect.  

The mediator is there to make sure that both participants get a chance to put their side of the story, particularly if one person is better at explaining their views and proposal than the other.  The mediator will use language to emphasis where there are areas of agreement, to help the couple focus on their collective aims and objectives.  

Not only is the language used by the mediator important, but also the language used by each of the participants.  There can be a tendency to revert to destructive communication patterns that existed during their relationship. Couples often know how to push each other’s buttons and what trigger words will stir up negative emotions in their former partner.  The mediator will encourage the participants to move away from this dynamic and to focus on outcomes and take a more positive forward focused approach.  

Before a couple embarks on their joint mediation sessions it can be really helpful to consider the impact on their words on the other person and to try to steer clear of previous arguments and not dwell on past events.  In order to achieve this, participants may need to change their mindset, style of language and to move away from the desire to blame and instead focus instead on reaching solutions. 

Click here for more information about Mediation.

Family mediation is not about getting back together. In fact it is the opposite, family mediation aims to help you to agree how you will live apart.