Love and Logic – the importance of relationship agreements.

A relationship agreement is, in simple terms, an understanding between partners about how their relationship works. It can be a formal or informal agreement, either written or verbal. Relationship agreements are designed to provide clarity and avoid conflict. 

Relationship agreements can include the following:  

• expectations whether that be financially or emotionally
• how conflict should be handled
• values and future goals
• boundaries
• needs
• responsibilities 

Why are relationship agreements important? 

Cohabitation is becoming more common as more couples are choosing to live together without getting married. 

Marriage comes with legal assumptions regarding, in particular, finances, property ownership and inheritance.  However, for unmarried couples, the legal assumptions fall away as cohabiting couples do not have the same legal rights.  The “common-law marriage” is one of the biggest misconceptions which can leave couples vulnerable if there is no evidence of each other’s intentions. 

Relationship agreements encourage couples to have difficult conversations about their relationship, including finances, boundaries, needs and expectations early on. This strengthens communication and encourages parties to be open with one another. 

Relationship agreements can also help to prevent misunderstandings by replacing assumptions with clarity as they allow for expectations to be documented, visible and understood. This may, in turn, prevent conflict later down the line and assist with navigating any conflicts that do arise. 

Relationship agreements are a useful tool to fill the gap where legal rights fall away and encourage parties to commit to each other, and their relationship, with intention.